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What are some funny and smart quotes?

14.06.2025 08:55

What are some funny and smart quotes?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

When British people write X after everything, are they being serious or trying not to be awkward?

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

What are the most meaningful Jewish jokes that reveal insights about Jewish culture?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

What is price of the "liberal celebrities" e.g. Bill Maher, Seth Meyers, Jon Stewart, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel, Desi Lydic etc. to join the great MAGA movement like Stephen Colbert who wanted to European ambassadorship to turn back on "the Left"?

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”